Sometimes I just want to scream! I can’t do anything right. I want to get in my car and just drive, without a plan, and see where God takes me. Ninety-nine percent of the time, things are pretty good in Heather-land. Then there is that 1% that frustrates me to no end. It makes me want to act in ways that I know aren’t healthy for me. I have learned other ways to cope with my emotions and I don’t need to resort old behaviors that were very self-destructive. If I didn’t have class tonight, I would be lacing up my running shoes and heading out to pound out some miles; take no prisoners. it doesn’t matter that I already did 5 miles this morning, I could probably run another 10 just on adrenaline right now. But, instead I have to sit through class and take a test (which I should be studying for right now). The bad part is that I stopped and bought a huge bag of yogurt covered pretzels and I will probably eat the entire thing during class. Then I can really feel bad about myself. Tomorrow’s run is supposed to be another 5 miles, but I might end up busting out more than that. I’ve heard you can fuel a run purely on emotion.
In reality, I know that everything will work out. Emotions will need to be checked. Adrenaline will have to die down. Calm heads will prevail. I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.