I am five days out from my marathon. My thoughts are going crazy. But not about the marathon. My family received very devastating news last night about a death in the family. My cousin was young (29) and it really angers me that he was taken away from us. I’m frustrated that there is nothing I can really do to deal with the anger. I’m just really pissed off!!!!
I don’t handle death well. I’m not good at dealing with the feelings that are associated with death. I am really good at shoving those feelings deep down inside and trying to forget about them. Not healthy, I know, but strangely effective. At least for a little while. At some point, I usually get really pissed off and start punching things. Maybe that won’t happen this time. Maybe I can deal with these feelings. But right now….I want to punch things.