Hope

I have another doctor’s appointment this Friday.  This time, the doctor is focusing her energy on my S1-S2 area of my lower back.  She is going to do a cortisone injection in the hopes of (finally) getting rid of the low back pain that has plagued me since the beginning of the year.

I am trying to be optimistic.  If I’m being honest, it is really hard to do that right now.  I’ve tried so many things this year to try to get better.  To be able to run again.  To live without pain.  I feel like I am grasping at straws.

To add insult to injury, when I got to work today, I had to listen to one of the anesthetists tell me all about his race at the Twin Cities marathon last weekend.  The marathon I was supposed to run.  The marathon I was going to try to run under 4 hours.  MY marathon.  I tried to smile and be supportive and encouraging.  Inside, I was miserable.

So, I’m really hoping that this treatment works.  I would give anything to be able to run more than my one mile every other day.  I want to start training again.  I want to feel those endorphins again.  I want to feel strong and capable.  I want to run!  (And I want to be able to tie my shoes and fold the laundry without pain.)

The injection will be Friday morning.  I am asking that you all send your positive thoughts and prayers and any other good things you can my way.  I am hoping. And praying.  And pleading.  I really need this to work.

Thank you.

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